Another Relation-ship?
Sometimes our expectations are higher than some people can reach; especially when there’s no room for exceptions. Those who can’t reach the standard are placed into a mental “not a chance” list. And that list is filled with misconceptions, theories, red flags, past thoughts, potential concerns, etc.You find yourself unhappy and wondering why past relationships never worked out. Do we waste time looking for “the one” that we pass up great people who really have a chance?
Have you ever seen someone trying to figure out how certain people got together? Or have you ever walked passed a couple and asked yourself, “what do they see in them?” I hear people all the time calling someone shallow or too picky. I even hear the term gold-digger passed around for those people who only think of what they can get from someone. I know many people that have someone interested in them but they don’t oblige. Some people will pick out everything that is wrong with a person just off someone saying, “hello,” or how they dress, or how they look. (Don’t get me wrong, looks play an important part but that shouldn’t be your automatic disqualifier; especially when we’re not perfect). Think about this before you continue reading: Are people required to meet us where we are OR are we requiring more qualities from a person to be in a relationship with us than what we bring to the table?
I went on a date with a beautiful woman a few years back. Friends playing match maker. That has never been my thing but some friends tend to think they know what you want but fail to listen to what you need. Well we met at the bar (her choice) and we hit it off well. Into the date were talking about likes and dislikes, goals and where we attended colleges, and then she asked the question that not only stopped the date, but made me question her motives. She said, “how much money do you make?” I asked, “why is that important right now?” She said, “it determines a lot about where we go from here.” I nodded with puzzle thoughts running through my mind. I don’t remember if I was upset or just taken back. I immediately signaled for the bartender to come over and close out the tab and I asked her would she like me to pay. Before she could answer, I told her I could pay and to have a great night. She asked me what was wrong and I explained to this beautiful woman who was currently looking for a job that we’re not involved for her to be asking how much money I made. Not on a first or even a second date. I also explained that sometimes that loaded question can be placing someone into a category, and it can come off as if your being with someone is based upon how much money they made. She had no response. She just looked at me. Once again, I said, “have a great night and get home safe.”
At That Moment
There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone whose successful and educated and goal orientated. Someone who loves God, someone loving and caring and come from a good family, someone who’s going to treat you right, etc. But sometimes we meet those people and let them go before giving them a chance because they don’t fit our automatic qualifiers, so we send them off. Why don’t we take time to get to know someone before we decide they aren’t the one?
Ever heard the saying that talk is cheap? Well, IT’S SUPPOSE TO BE. Getting to know someone shouldn’t be pulling teeth or extremely difficult. The only thing someone should be taking up is a little bit of your time; not going all out to impress someone you might not even like. I am a little old fashion, even at age of 3_, lol, but one place I enjoy are local coffee shops. They are nice and scenic and you’re out in the public eye, but that conversation could lead to grabbing a bite to eat somewhere or it’s a quick meet & greet, a phone call tomorrow may take place.
Stop letting potentially good people go. Take time to get to know someone. A person’s personality and charm can go a long way. But believe me, I met some amazingly beautiful and caring and loving financially challenged, the only thing going for them is their smile type people who survive only off what they can get from others. But I wouldn’t have known that without getting to know them. I pay close attention to vibes and feeling someone’s energy is equally important, but we don’t know people just by what you see from the outer appearance. We all have a story. Are you worth listening too?
