REINVENT YOURSELF
Looking at the date of my last post I can honestly say that Life Happened. I didn’t expect my passion of writing to come to a halt, but I realized that I was incapable of pouring my all into something when my heart was in question. Some people are talented with sweeping problems under the rug, or moving on as if change doesn’t change them, but I am a processor. I must analyze things as they are and adjust as expected. Life happened, and I didn’t know how to process my thoughts and align my action.
Looking at my last posted blog, I realized that I was in an unwavering pool of laughs and many thoughts, tears and triumphs, victories and breaks, life lessons and teachings while learning how to be led and accepting of change. In the past few months I had to learn how to do something I was afraid to do. I had to learn how to let things be and not run back to fix it. I had to do something I was afraid to do. I had to learn how to Reinvent Myself.
Reinvent Yourself- For some, this could be a hard task. How do you reinvent yourself if you don’t know who you are? The truth is that we make mistakes, we become damaged individuals, we become heartless, we become analytical and keep people at a distance. If we aren’t careful we turn that pain into depression and anxiety. We lose trust in people and we limit the happiness in our lives. When one reinvents themselves, they take the necessary steps to get out of their situation. They had enough of going back and forth with decisions they can no longer change.
For me, I lost someone who meant the most to my life. I lost my biggest supporter and encourager. I lost the first realest friendship one could ever have. We created memories to which I now bow my head in shame. The memories are reminders of when life mad sense; so, I thought. Losing a friend stings, losing your best friend hurts, losing all of that in someone you considered closer than a brother or sister, that, I am at a loss for words. I have four steps to reinventing yourself. You take of it how you see fit, but for me, I am in every shape a new man, mentally, spiritually, physically, financially, etc.
1. Refocus your Priorities-
I spent my life pleasing everyone else. Seeing someone smile made me smile, but what I had to learn is that everyone that smile isn’t always happy (point taken). One thing about priorities, they can be non-negotiable. These are things that you must do that will make YOU happy. Refocus on things you wanted to do but didn’t know how to start. Work a little harder at completing a task that you started. Do something nice for you without asking for permission. Take that cooking class or piano lesson. Refocus on your gifts. One thing that a beautiful person told me is that I am more important to people than I may think. That means I am priority; even to myself.
2. Make yourself uncomfortable-
July of this year I finally went to the west coast. I went to Las Vegas and California. I had an amazing time with old friends, met some new friends, but I was free to turn a corner and not recognize someone. I was free to explore and do things I never thought I would. In going on this trip and exploring my freedom, I took a picture on the beach. Seems minor right, but what many don’t know is that I am very self-conscious about my looks and my body. Its easy to admire someone else’s confidence, if I can even call it that, but I’ve always embraced seeing what looks different to the outsider, a classic norm to the one being viewed. I had some pictures with my shirt off, some with just overalls on, and even people who were taken back in seeing that side of me was shocked but appreciative that I stepped out of my shell. It was uncomfortable, at first, but what I realized is that in being uncomfortable you hold yourself back from being the best you can be. People will ALWAYS have something to say but that inner courage will only come out when you are comfortable without shame.
3. Clear out all Clutter –
We are sometimes conditioned to thinking that if things don’t go as planned its always our fault. With losing a great friend I replayed everything that happened up to the moment when I lost my train of thought. The saying is that no response is a response. I accepted a lot of things outside my control. I thought I could mask the change and the pain associated with it, but pain has a way of releasing itself at the right wrong time. If you want to get on with life, the emotional baggage must be released. The anger you hold on to has to go. The grudges and the need to be right has to go. You can’t force people to see what you see, and you can’t make people stay if they desire to go. Don’t be afraid to let go when you want to move on with your life, as others have. Your mental freedom in on the line.
4. Express yourself-
Sometimes we hold ourselves back thinking that people will judge us incorrectly, when the fact is that your opinion matters. Our differences and our experiences and understanding to things makes us beautifully unique. You must learn how to express your thoughts, how you feel, how you received something, etc. Daily, you have to ask yourself “How do I feel? What do I desire? Why am I going through this?” When you ask yourself the question, ANSWER IT. Expressing yourself is not retaining the clutter. It’s giving a clear picture to your thoughts. Expressing yourself is allowing people to get to know and learn you and how to treat you.
At That Moment- Reinventing yourself requires you to do something you wouldn’t ordinarily do with the hopes of getting the results you want to see. You are enhancing the spirit of yourself outwardly and the world desires your authentic self. Hold on the memories, the good and even some lessons from the bad. Everything we encounter teaches us something, just don’t let those memories keep you there. When you must let go of people, or change a situation, accepting what no longer exist is a process. It’s OKAY to take your time. I had to stop writing until my thoughts were clear and I was ready to process things happening in my life. You must change when someone changes the dynamic in what you were use too. Know that some change is good. Change allowed me to see ME for ME and change allowed me to start living my life. We don’t know the WHY ‘s until we finally accept WHAT IS. Never change the narrative; the story will help you on the path of Reinventing You.
